and the mystery deepens

There are many times in my life where small things occur and I shrug them off as meaningless annoyances. Example, grape tomatoes spilling out in my car at 9pm after a long day. So when I go back and dissect that, I firmly believe there was a reason those tomatoes spilled out in my car. Small as it might be, I was suppose to be there at 9pm searching in the darkness for these specific tomatoes. Of course, it can go much further then that. What if I had bought a different container? what if I hadn't hit my brakes to hard? I know this thoughts process is nothing new and has been explored in several movies but when you actually realize it in the moment of what you are doing it can change you in several ways.

So my story begins. We left the specialist yesterday with the mysterious bone back where it belongs. Strongly connected and clearly visible on screen. Our little precious angel was whole again (not that a bone makes you whole, you know what I mean) and we were told we had a normal healthy baby and she could go on living life accordingly. The doctor said it really was a rare happening that a person can move in such a way at the precise moment that it can actually make a bone disappear in x-ray. Covering her butt (maybe) a miracle (maybe) whatever it was, i'll take it. Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers, They worked!

A mysterious bone and other strange tales

We begin this tale in a dark, confusing and scary land called
orthopeadic specialist-ville. We were referred to them by our family doctor who just wanted to double check a popping sound in both girls shoulder ligaments. So, a few trips into g.r. later we were told nothing to be concerned of, everything is where it is suppose to be etc...They wanted to monitor Tegan yearly for her hip bone due to some uneveness there.

ah relief. Now here we are a few weeks later and let me just paint a picture for you. A trashed house, cartoons blaring in an effort to distract from any battles that might arise from the 3 year old, and two crabby sick babies pulling on my legs, whining, no, wailing. Throw in some food,clutter, poop, dog fur, dirty dishes, and phone calls and you have my morning. This is all by 8 o clock. So when a number appeared on my phone I didn't recognize, I took a chance and answered it. Glad I did.

It was the Specialist letting me know that because they were so focused on the shoulder's, hip's, etc. They didn't notice that My dear, sensitive Harper was missing her clavicle bone. I didn't really know how to respond, other then make the face I usually do while waiting in line at meijer. To sum it up, we have a consult with the doctor in two weeks to basically drill her and get all the information we can and come up with a treatment plan for her. All I know for sure is that I love my little Harper more then anything and if I could, I would take my clavicle out and give it to her.

As we learn more about this medical mystery I will update accordingly. yikes. Being told your child has a "deformity" is a lot to take in, and even though we are less than a week into processing this, First and foremost, I am banning that word from ever being used to describe my child.

soldiers

It happened again this morning. After my hair was washed *gasp* and dried *heartattack* they were there. 3 of them. Tall, erect, and ready to march.
Three gray hairs. Three people. I named them Landon, Harper and Tegan.

I done blew it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Kndm4wX3g0

A very special birthday, a very sad goodbye, and my new business

Could you think of any better way to spend your 25th birthday?

I think not! My dearest sister Megan is preparing for a most fantastic adventure. I am so happy and excited for her. (and just a wee bit jealous) She is venturing off to the great south. Nashville that is, to follow her passion :the music industry. She has the most excellent taste in all things music and for that reason alone, I think she'll do just fine .Best of luck my lovely sister and we will miss you greatly. We look forward to bringing all the kids to your apartment and trashing it.

I have myself entered a strange period. A post-par tum-trauma-of having twins period, and in this (pause) fog, decided that I am going to be starting up a design consulting business in the fall. I need to stick with what I know, and I also need a creative outlet because I don't know how much more Shaun can take of my thrift store re-designs. He is blind to all things awesome. i.e. my super fab clocks

Oh, and check out this little find:

My little feathered friend. Speaking of...want a fun, inexpensive treat! Get a glass vase and fill it with feathers. You won't be sorry.

So much going on right now. I wish I could just post a million pictures because my brain is sputtering right now.

eyes sometimes lie.....

I am currently collecting photos to write a photographic essay on the

"golden months" of baby hood. We have turned that 6 month corner and

life is hitting its stride.

So until then, feast your eyes on this magnificent little being...

Shaun spotted this little guy on Sunday. I was convinced it was a baby hummingbird.

SERIOUSLY!??!?!

I am obsessed. It's a hummingbird moth and it's my new best friend. Landon was flipping out trying to catch it of course, and eventually it gave up and flew off. I must find the plants this little friend feeds on and grow them all over my yard. Crazy how this bug has existed all this time without me knowing. tragic. Now that I am aware of his presence, I will for sure be watching all the time for visits from my mystical friend.

new lessons

In my large effort these days not to judge, I have had several moments of strange clarity and lessons. I guess I don't really know what to call it. The other day, I finally had my moment.
It was a Sunday morning and I had a killer headache, no meds. Buzzed over to walgreens where I saw a man, pretty dirty/rough looking sitting on a bench. While everyone else walked by (not judging) I noticed he was kind of wobbling, possibly drunk. My initial reaction was whoa, that dudes totally wasted, on a Sunday morning yikes.

So I walked into the store and while I was in there picking out my pain killers and water to wash them down with immediately, I thought to myself, "who am I to shake my finger at that man for what he is" I am bringing him some water because he looks like he needs some bad. The doubt and questing comes flooding in "what if he's offended, what if he's slaps it out of my hand and starts swearing at me" etc. etc....Why not trying to judge am I judging? ugh. So I head outside and he's still there. I slowly approach ready to hand the bottle and walk away when he suddenly stands up and walks off (or rather, stumbles off) which totally burst my courage bubble and I swiftly got back in my car. I don't really know where I am going with this story. I am not telling it to try and make myself feel better for a deed I didn't even get to do. Who knows what the outcome would've been. I guess I just want that dude to know that someone did notice him and didn't shake their head at him, and didn't feel sorry for him, in fact, if Landon was there, he probably would've walked right up to him and called him a "ductor"

chaos level 99%`

So Shaun and I started measuring our household chaos level. It's a fun little game. For instance, one baby crying, one baby eating, one toddler choosing to poop on potty at that exact moment, I'd shout out 67%..... Both babies crying, toddler whining, Shaun moving in furniture, neighbor's dog running into house, toddler escaping outside, dinner sitting at the table from 2hours ago =100% Doesn't really dip below 50% until after 8.

I've also been watching my poor little guy suffering from allergies these past few weeks. It kills me. I just wish I could take his eyes out, soak them in benedryl, and stick em back in. The poor guy has 2 inhalers, meds, and even a sedative for his flair ups and eczema hot spots. As most of you are familiar with Landon, the sedative brings him down to a 'normal' activity level. whatever normal means.

I love his sense of the world right now. We drove by Wendy's the other day and there was a man outside sweeping the sidewalk with his hat and apron on to which Landon screams out "ductor, ductor" or in adult speak, train conductor. "Wow dude", I said, "looks like he lost his train," lets go help him find it!" In this moment of trying to play along with him, I realized what an amazing lesson I was learning from my 2 year old.

A year ago today I was in a dark room having an ultrasound done to detect what the heck was 'wrong' with this pregnancy. There were a few moments (while withering on the bathroom floor) when thoughts flashed in that deep dark place in my mind "what if I'm having twins"?! no, no way, projectile in the toilet and re-curl into fetal position on the floor shaking. poor Shaun. Little did I know, there would be several times in the next 9 months that I would see that exact look on his face when he saw me lying there on the floor. A mix of panic/fear/helpless-ness. I am sure you can picture it.

The second the technician placed that wand thingy on my stomach, I knew. The two black circles with blinking white dots in the middle appeared instantly and as the tech explained "this is your baby's heart and this is your other's baby's heart. auhh, whoa whoa whoa. So casually as if we knew?! Holy Sh** was the only thing that I could think to say. So eloquent, I know. "You weren't on fertility?" auhh no, (which I find out later is a totally acceptable question to ask a complete stranger?!?) "Let me go find the doctor"

If my brain made audible sounds it would of sounded something like this when the doctor came in to talk to us "beda-blabodahpoo" Come to find out, nine months later, that is exactly what my brain sounds like when two babies and a toddler are crying. I have just now started to dissect the past year of our life and what has occurred. Nothing can ever prepare you for twins. NOTHING.(I think this may be a repeated phrase in this blog) Now that I am on the other side I am rather speechless. I try to think about what I would tell another mother expecting twins. Would I go with the usual "they're so much fun" it's a double blessing or for the more raw "I cried for 25 days straight, no sobbed, and thought I was going insane from lack of sleep".

Blissful joy. It's so hard to wrap my brain around all this. I actually don't think we are meant to because our brains might explode.

Tegan and "other Tegan"

I just realized I have written very little about the girls. I have no idea why that is. It's probably because anything I say about them will sound cheesy. For example: They are so stinkin cute it's not even funny. I just want to squish their chubby legs constantly. The girls have changed our lives in way's I am just now beginning to understand and work out. NOTHING can prepare you for twins. It's been a fascinating ride, that's for sure.

Tegan is such a little fire. I predict she is going to be my child full of sass and I will be breaking up squabbles between her and landon on a daily bases. She came into this world butt first and she's gonna let everyone know about it.

Harper is my old soul. There is something about her eyes. It's almost as if you can hear her thinking. She's constantly observing. I can see her as the sister Landon and Tegan both confide in. She is totally wise beyond her years. I have high hopes for this one being my child that won't stick things in the outlets and flush items down the toilet that the plumber has to remove.

side note, I am off to get ready for a momma's night out with a dear friend. NO KIDS. Can you imagine the conversation possibilities.

FYI while I thought my child was napping "surprisingly good" in his aunt Megan's bed, he was really up there playing with green oil paint and eating gum.

While we're on the subject of good parenting, did I mention that I allow and encourage my children to play with fireworks. Does sarcasm translate through blog writing??!?

"The boy" and other parenting delights

Landon loves trains. Loves them. He enters an almost trance like state when playing with them. I totally encourage this love because it's something he enjoys doing that does not involve some form of mischief i.e. *cooking in the kitchen. This leads me to "the boy". He came from Grampy's polar express train that comes out for Christmas. Last time we saw the boy he was sitting in landon's mash potato's on Christmas eve. For about 4 months solid there was constant talk of "where's boy" "grampy mimi find boy?" and so on.

Cue delivery of new furniture and removal of old and the boy was discovered lodged in between a cushion. The boy has somehow made it over to our house, oh and did I mention how small the boy is. The other morning Landon came up the stairs in his usual good morning, followed by "where's boy?" We don't let Landon bring "the boy" to sleep with him because of his for mentioned size. It would be tragic if the boy was ever lost and I don't have the time to search for him every morning. The point of this story, mm not really sure what it is. I'm just personally amused by the boy. It's like my own personal inside joke. It just makes me chuckle.

* and when I refer to cooking, yeah. Just when I thought I'm one step ahead of him. Long story short. I was taking a shower under the presumption landon was downstairs with Shaun. (Note to self, always confirm he is indeed under the watchful eye of daddy when showering) Upon hearing a large amount of commotion, I quickly ended my shower when, I found the following....a trail of espresso beans (from a brand new bag) leading to the counter, where 2 martini glasses stood full of beans (one was broken on the floor) and a greasy substance which I quickly discovered was olive oil imported from greece (a brand new bottle as well, now completely empty). Not only was it in the glasses but was all over the counter, in the coffee grinder *heartattack* and the espresso machine. I kind of blinked in disbelief, and as the reality hit me of what I was gazing upon, Landon appeared (upon which I eyed him for any injuries from the COFFEE GRINDER) and asked him what the heck he was doing. To which he replied "cooking," turned and walked off. (I just realized how bad this story makes me look as a mother, I promise you, this child's curiosity and drive to do things has me constantly on my toes. When things like the above happen, I am almost unfazed by it now. It's just a normal, daily occurrence in our house and the speed at which he can accomplish his mischief is record breaking, especially when I am distracted with babies.)

I have to constantly look at photo's of my children to remind myself 3 valuable things that I blink with disbelief on a daily bases.


#1 I grew 2 babies in me.



#2 Yes, you really can love more then one thing that much



#3 I have kept 3 children under 3 alive for 5 months and counting (fingers crossed for at least another month..) just kidding everyone, I am slowly getting a grasp on parenting multiple children


All these things make it worth having to look at this on a daily bases

(look at poor little owen) Don't be fooled by him alone in that photo. This happened purely at the hands of my little man, he just got caught in the aftermath

Thank you outside for existing

You know that scene in The Simpsons when Homer licks the back of a toad in substitute for beer, his pupils dilate and he is suddenly transported to a magical world.....That is what happens when Landon steps outside. It's like something just clicks inside him and he must do everything and anything "boy".

First and foremost, we find a stick or an object that looks or can function as a stick would. i.e broom, shovel, misc. metal poles we have in our garage. It is then placed into the dirt and beaten by another stick-like object. Once we are bored with that, we then turn the stick into a spear and chase the dog with it. Which inevitably ends with falling into dirt, dog poop, or random puddle even though it hasn't rained in days.

After that, we bring it down a notch and start poking ants with the stick. Which always leads to me to explaining that ants are living and have feelings too blah blah blah...So then it turns into an ant hunt which miraculously will occupy him for longer then 5 seconds. After we tire of the ants we might try something more "normal" like dig in the dirt for worms. As soon as all these activities are completed it's as if there's is a collected sigh of "okay, now I can swing or ride my bike or play in the sandbox"

magical mini

With the arrival of the twins nearing (i.e. I felt like I was dying) Shaun and I thought it would be a good idea to get the manual out for my car. We wanted to look up the "logistics" of putting three carseats in the back of my car. This is what we found in bold letters...."WARNING even though there are 3 latch hooks DO NOT install three car seats under any circumstances ever or we will blow up your car after we drive over it with a monster truck." Cue the hormonal waterfalls. Aughhh. I cried for a day....would stop....picture "it" in my head and start crying again. I hated that i've said things like"i'll never drive a minivan ever..whawha." Who EVEN cares. seriously. as long as my lil ones are safe i'll do it. I'll sacrifice any ounce of coolness that I didn't even have to begin with and drive a mini.

So after an interesting (and luckily) five second drive home from the hospital. The search was on. 3 days later in the daze of what shaun and I now refer to as "being raked through the coals of hell" (just kidding girls, we love you ) we were the proud owners of this beast.

That was a compromise from what I really wanted which was this:

I also feel really special that I get to do things like this now:

Oh, and if anyone knows where I can buy this little treat please let me know

A follow up to "dreams really do come true...when you poop on the potty"

There really is no better feeling then providing joy for your children. With that said, why is there always a certain level of, how do you say, awkwardness, involved? I've never been a "clapper" or described as being "hyper" not that there is anything wrong with these characteristics AT ALL, it's just not me.

But what is it about seeing your child in pure-explosive ecstasy that makes me start clapping and say really awesome things like "hey landon, look at his watch thinging majiger um yeah...." This "ductor" was a very patient sweet man, and by his good graces puts up with this on a volunteer bases. My personal highlight of the day was when I looked out the window and saw some guy in tight jeans, black rocker shirt, somewhat greasy long blond hair, strumming on his guitar with a look of pure pleasure as the train roared by. Landon's was for sure the "cows running" Which either disturbed him or made his existence because he couldn't stop talking about the cows, which in reality, were running in terror from the train.

All in all the coopersville-marne train was a exceptional way to spend a Saturday afternoon. Lucky for us we missed the bunny train which ran last weekend. *darn* I can't even begin to imagine the awkwardness of adults dressed up in bunny suits. You would do it for this face too.